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Professorfangirl's Bordello of Learning

Because every pleasure deserves to be taken seriously




I’ve reached something of a conundrum in my meta writing. I’m still having fun writing about Ben Whishaw, but over the past couple of months I’ve watched a lot of depressing as hell movies about queer men dying and/or being tormented because of their…

No, he doesn’t seem any more willing to discuss his private life, and even his coming out through all those popular media venues in 2013 had a sense of “listen up, because I’m only saying this once” about it.  He does seem to have become more comfortable with rerouting these kinds of questions, though, or maybe just more comfortable with interviews in general.  The ones I’ve seen about his role as Sebastian in Brideshead are such a stark contrast, and so sad.  One soundbite from Mirimax, (which I’ll attempt to post) has him responding to a question about Sebastian’s sexuality, and he looks so uncomfortable.

I deliberated about whether or not I should mention his sexuality in the original post, and decided not to because I’m not sure how much it matters. Ben’s idea seems to be that since he makes a living portraying other people, nothing about his personal life should matter, but I do find that knowing about his sexuality impacts the way I think about the roles he chooses.  I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

I feel exactly the same way. The question shouldn’t matter, but given the homophobia that still shapes our thinking, it’s going to. I think you’re right to stay away from it as much as possible, though—that philosophy of reticence can be a good thing, when it doesn’t lead to erasure.


why can’t I find anyone else who finds this as funny as I do?


I just played it like ten times till my bf shut my laptop on my fingers.


…I’m not an expert, but I think that sometimes litte puppies pop out of his hair

Gotta say, he *is* sparkeling.

(via moonblossom)



The one thing that  bothers me in the discussions about consent is that there’s so little attention to the fact that a person can be in conflict with themselves about sex. I want this but I’ll regret it in the morning; I want this but it makes me feel dirty; I want this but my religion says it’s wrong; I want this but it terrifies me … All sorts of situations where a potential yes is far from wholehearted and you do have some kind of grey area.

And I’d just like to see that acknowledged, that yes, sometimes it’s messy and complicated, because that’s what being human is.


And that, in a narrative setting, sex can take place as one aspect of a larger context in which characters are in conflict with themselves and/or each other, and in which they have complex motivations for making the decisions they do.


An actual headline from The New York Times in 1919 

#history #heaven & pandæmonium #shivering like a naked map of stars (via elucipher)

The bed we loved in was a spinning world
of forests, castles, torchlight, clifftops, seas
where we would dive for pearls. My lover’s words
were shooting stars which fell to earth as kisses
on these lips; my body now a softer rhyme
to his, now echo, assonance; his touch
a verb dancing in the centre of a noun.
Some nights, I dreamed he’d written me, the bed
a page beneath his writer’s hands. Romance
and drama played by touch, by scent, by taste.
In the other bed, the best, our guests dozed on,
dribbling their prose. My living laughing love -
I hold him in the casket of my widow’s head
as he held me upon that next best bed.

Carol Ann Duffy, “Anne Hathaway” (via greenkneehighs)


(via jerusalemsunrise)



Musical Instruments Photographed From Inside

violin, cello, flute and pipe organ

pics by Mierswa Kluska

I’ll be moving inside all of these shortly.

Seriously, that violin looks like a goddamn cathedral.

(via bertilakslady)



Totally plotless girl!Steve/Bucky PWP. I’m not sorry.

Folks in Antidiogenes the other day were lamenting how difficult it is to write non-schmaltzy-feeling het sex. Well LET ME TELL YOU, FRIENDS, here is an object lesson for us all. Things I think work incredibly well about it, and ways it departs from the standard hetero “script”:

  • The main sexual “event” is not PIV sex.
  • The main sexual event is instead smokin’ hot m-to-f oral, homg, my mouth is watering.
  • Giving oral sex to a woman is treated as something the male partner craves to do and finds mind-bendingly hot.
  • The first, and longer, part is Bucky POV, and hits this great line where both Bucky’s overwhelming adolescent desire for Steph, and his tremendous protective affection for her, are tangibly present for the reader— even when (especially when) those two things are in conflict within Bucky himself.
  • Adolescent Stephanie is demonstrably way, way into everything happening, and is in fact less prone to caution and taking things slow than Bucky, which I think works well with (what I know of) their canon characterizations.
  • Adult (POV) Stephanie is super charming, as is adolescent (POV) Bucky, as are the fleeting cameos from other MCU characters. I am charmed by this whole story.

Incidentally, if it doesn’t get you in the mood to eat a lady out, I think it’s a fair bet you’re not into that. JUST SAYIN’.

Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss have a “fantastic, really mouth-watering idea” says the star - could it be a Christmas special?

"Another possibility is that Gatiss and Moffat are lining up a much-talked-about Sherlock Christmas special, with Gatiss having made no secret of the fact that Yuletide episode The Blue Carbuncle – a well-loved mystery involving a Christmas goose and a valuable stolen gem stone – is among his favourite of the original Sherlock Holmes adventures.” (Radio Times, Apr. 24, 2014)

why do you think maurice's father was also gay? is it just a headcannon type thing or is there some form of textual evidence to support it? asked by vonast


Hello! Thanks for your question. (Hmm, that’s what happens when I shoot my mouth off by adding comments late at night!)

There’s a textual hint in Maurice the novel (not film) that Maurice’s father may have been gay. Forster doesn’t go into detail: in keeping with his wider approach, he slips in a little phrase that we could easily miss, and the phrase itself is ambiguous. So ‘Maurice’s gay Dad’ is more than headcanon, but a matter of textual interpretation rather than incontrovertible textual evidence.

The relevant passage comes in Chapter 30: just after Maurice’s crisis of ‘lust’ over Dickie Barry, just before Clive phones with the news of his engagement to Anne:

‘… As he [Maurice] sat in his office working, he could not see the vast curve of his life, still less the ghost of his father sitting opposite. Mr Hall senior had neither fought nor thought; there had never been any occasion; he had supported society and moved without a crisis from illicit to licit love. Now, looking across at his son, he is touched with envyFor he sees the flesh educating the spirit, as his has never been educated, and developing the sluggish heart and the slack mind against their will.’

Forster doesn’t specify the nature (or gender) of Mr Hall Senior’s ‘illicit love’ before his marriage. My interpretation that he means m/m love is rooted in a few other details.

(i) Although Maurice isn’t an autobiographical novel, in writing it EMF did draw significantly on his own experiences (e.g. being raised by a widowed mother, the Platonic m/m relationship forged at Cambridge that ultimately disappoints…) EMF’s biographers (especially Wendy Moffat, 2010) state that EMF’s father Eddie (who died when EMF was a baby) was in a very close relationship with a male Cambridge friend, Ted Streatfeild, at the date of his marriage – so much so that Ted accompanied EMF’s parents on their honeymoon(!)

(ii) As a gay man himself, it seems to me more likely that EMF is alluding to m/m, rather than heterosexual, ‘illicit’ love. The word ‘illicit’ might even intentionally operate as a code for ‘m/m’ which EMF’s gay readers (and close friends) would understand but other readers would miss. 

(iii) EMF repeatedly stresses Maurice’s likeness to his father. But the more we’re told that Maurice is ‘just like’ his father – and being raised to duplicate his father’s life path (the same schools, then into the City) – the more that raises the question of whether the ‘like’ includes a homosexual background. 

e.g. In being sent to his father’s old public school (Sunnington, not featured in the film), Maurice is sent to a school that’s had ‘a terrific scandal’ (i.e. sexual activity between boys) just before he arrives, so that during Maurice’s time there the boys are ‘drilled hard all day and policed at night’ (Ch 3). As Maurice is born in the late 1880s, the school clampdown will have been sparked by the Wilde trials and the tightening of British laws against m/m sex (the Labouchère Amendment): EMF himself, b. 1879, experienced a similar atmosphere. Or, to put this another way, the policing of sex between boys was probably slacker in Maurice’s father’s time. :D EMF’s line about ‘moving without a crisis from illicit [m/m] to licit [straight married] love’ would certainly fit that public-school and Cambridge background…

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